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19年前,Late Night w/Conan O'Brien的这段节目,由Sue Johanson主讲,差点杀了我。(Johanson当时是一个73岁的性教育家,对Conan没有任何寒意,也没有Tom Selleck和The Big Show。)

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背后的人❤️: Owen (Twitter)


Baby speaking italian ( image
Car parked in San Francisco being put to the test. ( image
Will Smith's family looking like a rogues' gallery of Batman villains ( image
I work at Starbucks and someone tried to pay with these $20 bills today. (
One of the many reasons I love dogs (
The wind blew too hard. ( image
I think my wife forgot she was 7 and a half months pregnant when she tried to hide so she could jump out and scare me. ( image
My brother decided to sneak some cheese cake late last night. I heard a crash and came out to this. ( image
My mom told me to make something nice to wear for Thanksgiving. I think I nailed it. (
Night shift (
“No soliciting!” (
Guy managed to photobomb his girlfriend for a whole month, by taking engagement ring pictures without her noticing it ( image
Apparently Amazon sells meth pipes but they pretend they are drinking straws ( image
Came from work to see my girlfriend has updated our letter board ( image
Forgot my phone in English today. Found this on the camera roll after my teacher returned it. (
Dutch children accepting the climate (
a jack of all trades (
19 Years Ago, This Segment of Late Night w/Conan O'Brien featuring Sue Johanson nearly killed me. (Johanson is at that time a 73 year old sex-educator and has no chill for Conan, nor Tom Selleck and The Big Show) (
this guy fucks on every day of the week ( image
My wife said to just grab a handful…She didn’t realize I could grip the whole row one handed. (
Magic Pineapples🎤 (Carmen Lagala) (
His soul left his body for a second ( image
This is what my 2nd grader wrote about my dad for grandparents night and he was the only grandparent he did out of 4 of them.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ (
Capturing the Lunar Eclipse. Look how far technology has come! ( image
Wife: Your so-called 2-in-1 universal cable doesn't work. My phone wasn't charged last night. (
Just guys being dudes (
WIFE! ( image
My moms boyfriend built an outdoor pisser so he doesn’t have to use the fence anymore. ( image
offered a potato or candy. experiment results in comments. (
I carved these very scary lights (
My coworker's fully working Optimus Prime costume at our Halloween lunch today (
Not happy about his Halloween costume 😂 (
Sleeping kid thinks his barber just kissed him… the injustice! 💈 (
A spot on Robin Williams impression (
Today we learned to trust the process (
It's Crazy Hair Day at my daughter's school. (
The perfect ad... (
New to woodworking. Accidentally made a char-coochie board ( image
Mother in law found out I was spending the night. I'm the Frist man in the house in a while. ( image
City Builds Multimillion Dollar Concrete Pillars, They Crack In 6 Months. Woman Dresses Up as One for Halloween. She Writes, "Just wanted to show my... "SUPPORT"!" (
Who do you think handled it better? ( image
Been travelling alone for work for a month now. Not sure if I've I'm peak living or hit rock bottom.. (
I heard Netflix was adding in commercials so I invented the Commercial Curtains. (
Women "Why do our clothes have no pockets?!" Men on the other hand... ( image
My best friends grandma made these before she passed away to give out at her funeral. What an icon ( image
My 73 year old landlady just asked why I have a 5’4” hat in the basement. I don’t know how to explain this. (
Practical jokes. Winter edition ( image
I have a small YouTube channel where I upload songs I’ve written. I was curious about my audience demographics. I showed my friends and now they’re all poking fun at me for making “Mom Music”. ( image
My wife says I’m difficult to buy presents for. So I made her a handy flowchart. ( image
Definition of Marriage from perspective of this kid. (
Girlfriends first dinner with the family (
This is an ad of Rema 1000, which is a Norwegian supermarket chain. "Simplicity is king" is one of their slogans. ( image
Little brother is coming home from bootcamp next week. This is everything that he wants (
I need to see more of this guys games. (
Happiest Dad in the World (
Jim Carrey keeping it real (
Best use of a 360 cam (
Good boi can’t hold back his excitement. ( image
Where is the fire exit, the Ministry of Magic? ( image
I was using the restroom at work when noticed the toilet shape (
Dude makes a multi-chorus song from a meowing cat. 🐈 🎵 (
Apparently, movies aren't that far-fetched ( image
My wife and I both tried to draw a map of the US from memory. (
Father of the year award🥇 goes to this guy and also while you’re up here… here’s your worst husband award 🥉 🤣 (
lawn mover sneaks up on a moose (
And we watched this as kids 😂 (
dad jokes are the best! ( image
I flew my bestie in for her birthday and talked my husband into holding up this sign. (
I like to suntan during summer in my garden, thinking it's safe. Turns out the city decided this was a good day to update house plot records (
Snoop Dogg on Wheel of Fortune (real, not a skit) (
Mob Lawyer ( image
Santa Clara Men’s Cross Country team headshot roundup (
My brothers doorbell working as intended lol (
Midlife crisis ( image
Old photo of my daughter lol. I got home from work one night to find her like this. I miss being a kid lol my back hurts looking at this lol. (
If Meat Eaters Acted Like Vegans (edited) (
It says "Don't Look" but went anyway. (
Natasha Leggero roasting. ( image
Asked for a refund on college loan payments - I received 63 separate checks ( image
My wife thought it would be funny to throw me a vasectomy party. Here's the cake ( image
First day without his mom, look at the buttons on his suit jacket ( image
Photoshop pre-computer era: elderly woman covers ex’s face with Leonardo D. ( image
My mother ordered a soap dispenser from Amazon and THIS was the warranty information. (
Semi Spilled a Load of Dildos and Lube in Oklahoma City (
Man has his priorities straight (
Life doesn’t come with a manual. It comes with a mother ( image
The vet called and asked if they could use a pic of our cat for marketing purposes while he was in for dental surgery. I said sure! Then they sent the pic… (
My broder wipes his dog's asshole every time they come back from a walk (
meanwhile in Berlin ( image
First vacation I’ve had all year and work won’t stop texting me… should I send it? (
Escape Room (
He might nibble your hand a little ( image
For five years I diligently made sure I put my hiking socks on the correct feet. Never crossed my mind that I always picked the left one first. Today I realised I had bought large socks. (
I prototype dumb ideas in my head so today I made the Dusty Dish. (
Just got home - 15 year old babysitting his brothers… 😂🤣 (
Some of my best jokes! 🤙 ( image
Went to the zoo today and I'm 99% sure that's not a Cheetah... ( image
A good friend had just bought a Civic SI and asked if I’d swap him for a weekend so he could take his girl to the mountains in my LandRover. I said sure. While away he asked how the Civic was working for me. I sent him this photoshopped shot of his car and some random dude fishing. ( image
The packaging on my new toothbrush. If you turn the toothbrush on the whole thing vibrates lol. (
Coach hears his translator for the first time (
Escape Room ( image
A resume my wife received this week (
Step out of the vehicle, please. (
Many of us have lived through this, and the pain there is real.! :) (
I like her, she seems unstable ( image
The Toledo Zoo setup a way for orangutans to splash visitors ( image
Wife’s employer received this resume for a position. He got an interview because the manager couldn’t stop laughing (edited for privacy) (
“Excuse me?!?” (
My brother left me a voicemail about how f'd we are and I animated it (
This mesmerizing alien shows up and fucks with my comfortable universe. Wtf? ( image
My husband is in the process of redoing our lawn. He recently began killing off all our grass. I didn’t want our neighbors to think we were neglectful homeowners, so I made a sign… (
Teddy Krueger (
curious for cat... terrifying for us. (
As a mexican I agree cant take those chances (
He’s plotting his revenge ( image
New employee starting today brought "brownies" in for everone with this note (
This crow snowboarding on the roof of a building using a jar lid. ( image
My wife just went back to work and thinks I'm an idiot (
I build fake products and today I created the Jewel Cooler. ( image
The trophy for my town's July 4th hot dog eating contest (
Beats most fashion walks (
Please send help. ( image
Went to a new barber. Asked for my part to be cut in. SHE MOWED A FUCKING 1/2” STRIPE OUT OF MY HEAD! ( image
The real monster of Stranger Things… Will’s barber (
Training for Asian family gatherings (
Paul Rudd is a national treasure. (
Prince Louis of Cambridge (
Playing in a swamp (
Feel like being watched (
I pitch-corrected Eminem's Lose Yourself into the Super Mario Bros music (
I compiled every instance I could find of Snoop Dogg saying his own name and built a song ( image
What does it mean when this light comes on? (
I hate planks (
They promised us flying cars in 2022 but instead we got is acceptable (
Scammer watches $500 disappear after wasting 10 hours ( image
This is the picture Amazon sent my BIL to say the packages were "delivered to a family member directly" (
Found a Compatible Host Body...Attempting Assimilation... ( image
Nephew got sent home from third grade with this note. ( image
Parked my truck next to this car today ( image
It's hard to make friends (
I design fake products and today I'm created the Burrito Bumper! ( image
For years I thought I had depressions. But recently I found out that it is just because of this sad duck, that lives, where my brain is supposed to be! ( image
Every company with a shitty codebase (
Men simplified (
Best man pranks the groom ( image
The fact that Zuckerburgs wax figure look more human than the real one (
Delivery guy fails to notice the dog initially! (
My brother Ben leaves me voicemails about Satan. I made this one into a song called “Armagetten” (
Dad strength is no joke (
He's all in. (
She Roasted 4 people with 1 sentence (
Help, please! (
Soccer player sees her broken nose on the bigscreen ( image
What was the most passive aggressive email you received from a professor? (
Annoying neighbor complains about my balls. (
I think a kid is stuck inside the body of this 6'11 242lb monster ( image
Will probably woulda clapped (
The show must go on (
That's right it goes in the square hole (
Timing is vital : "You must know when and where to bark" ( image
Canadians according to a Japanese textbook (